Trust

Last night I realized that though I feel a Spirit-led leading to wait for the baby to come naturally, I may not see that reality. I feel a complete peace about being induced on Friday, if the baby hasn't come by then--and will proceed in that plan.

The verses on the men in the hall of faith in Hebrews 11 have come to mind--the men were faithful but never received that which was promised.

Verse 13 "All these men died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth."

Though I still have until Friday before the scheduled induction, I need to be okay with waiting, and the possibility of not getting what I am hoping for. The past week has been quite a spiritual struggle for me as I wake up every morning disappointed and frustrated. I want this baby to come--like a week ago--because I'm tired of carrying her, my parents are here waiting too, I want to be able to get on the floor and play with Selah again, and I just want to hold this little girl in my arms. I have been blessed to have lots of friends calling regularly to let me know they are praying for me as I struggle through the waiting. And I know God is refining me in the waiting. So, maybe the goal in all this is for me to trust and obey, when it is very difficult to do so.

I know this might seem to many (and even to me in a few months) to be such a small struggle that I'm blowing up into a big one. I mean, its really just waiting for 2 weeks longer than the supposed due date. But, I've struggled through many emotions, fears, and thoughts over the past weeks and months. I've heard lots of advice and had to trust God in many moments of fear, etc. Regardless of whether this is actually a big or small issue now or later, I do know that I've been weak and left with nothing but my faith and trust in the Lord. Praise Him for that. I do hope that my selfishness has not hindered His glory in and through my life.